Skip to main content

race plays a role

Elham: "They like English accent French accent not your accent not my accent"

This line stuck with me as I read the play, especially when you mentioned your inability to relate to it because you are two generations deep, almost fully assimilated into "American" culture.

I am also 2 generations deep, a second-generation American. So why is my experience different?


It's because:

- The sub spells my name when calling attendance instead of attempting to say it.

- My first-grade teacher refused to believe I celebrated Thanksgiving.

- No history textbook has a picture of someone like me.


It's because I've had the following conversation more times than I can count:

Them: "Where are you from?"

Me: I live in Michigan, I'm American.

Them: "No, where are you really from?"


And as much as I feel the urge to respond passive-aggressively, I’ve come to realize that these questions often come from kind, well-meaning people who are simply curious. They don’t intend to offend - but the color of my skin and the turban on my head lead them to assume, with absolute certainty, that I couldn’t possibly be from here. And in many ways, that assumption isn’t entirely their fault.


It's because:

- No American movie stars an actor that looks like me.

- No children’s book they read growing up had a kid with my name.

- No curriculum teaches about the holidays I celebrate.


So instead of responding with anger, I simply explain my family's Iranian, Afghan, and Pakistani legacy (one that I have almost zero connection with), leaving them with a bewildered look because they can't believe I'm not Indian (people often forget that brown people exist outside of India). 

And in those moments, I'm reminded that assimilation doesn't guarantee belonging. I speak without an accent, I laugh at the same jokes, I wear jeans and sneakers, but I'm still seen as foreign. I’ve learned that even when you grow up here - eat the food, pledge to the flag, speak the language - you can still feel like a guest in your own country.

No matter how hard I try to assimilate, no matter how connected or disconnected I am to my family's heritage, no matter how many Lululemon bags and Owala bottles I buy, I will never be white enough to be American.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Sapphic Artists (in my professional opinion)

Since we read "The Three Girls" this week, a very queer-coded piece, I made a list of my favorite sapphic artists: 5) Chappell Roan It seems impossible to compile a list of sapphic artists without including Chappell Roan. After her viral Coachella performance in April this year and her subsequent release of "Good Luck, Babe!" Chappell seems to have come out of nowhere. She is known for her love of drag and won Best New Artist at the VMAs. In some ways, she reminds me of the Marilyn Monroe we studied in "The Three Girls," especially in her desire to escape fame in some moments. However, she is also the opposite, incredibly vocal about her queer identity in every aspect of her life. I can't list her as my favorite, simply because I have not listened to her music enough, especially because she is so new to the spotlight. However, I absolutely love her unapologetic nature and can't wait to see what she does next! 4) LYVIA LYVIA is definitely the smalle...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Average High School Experience (...right?)

My eyes dilated at the paper in front of me. I tried to control my breathing as I felt myself hyper-focusing on the crinkle at the top of the page. This is an imminent disaster. Why did I let him pass the paper to me? I should’ve just gotten it myself. There’s something so beautiful about a flat, perfect sheet of paper - why would anyone want to ruin it? Honestly, the assignment is barely worth doing if the paper is wrinkled. I attempt to refocus on the teacher’s lecture (something about poetry?) but there’s no use. The crease controls me.
Post a Comment
Read more

Make Sleeping Cool Again

I still can't begin to understand how people manage to function off of 2-3 hours of sleep every night. And yet, everyone seems to be doing it? There's no doubt that we've turned it into some crazy competition. I'm already prepared to walk in tomorrow and hear the following conversation: "oh my godddddd. i literally stayed up until midnight to finish that blog post." "that means you basically got 6 hours of sleep. ugh you're so luckyyyyy. i stayed up till 3." So, not only are we invalidating others' problems, but we are also creating a culture that encourages others to make unhealthy choices for bragging rights. It's not the only thing we do it for either: "you wrote your ap seminar paper three days before it was due? i did mine the literal day it was due." "i can't believe you drive 50 in a 45. like you gotta drive 65 at least!" This isn't to say that I'm not guilty of the exact same things, but I'm sta...
Post a Comment
Read more