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race plays a role

Elham: "They like English accent French accent not your accent not my accent"

This line stuck with me as I read the play, especially when you mentioned your inability to relate to it because you are two generations deep, almost fully assimilated into "American" culture.

I am also 2 generations deep, a second-generation American. So why is my experience different?


It's because:

- The sub spells my name when calling attendance instead of attempting to say it.

- My first-grade teacher refused to believe I celebrated Thanksgiving.

- No history textbook has a picture of someone like me.


It's because I've had the following conversation more times than I can count:

Them: "Where are you from?"

Me: I live in Michigan, I'm American.

Them: "No, where are you really from?"


And as much as I feel the urge to respond passive-aggressively, I’ve come to realize that these questions often come from kind, well-meaning people who are simply curious. They don’t intend to offend - but the color of my skin and the turban on my head lead them to assume, with absolute certainty, that I couldn’t possibly be from here. And in many ways, that assumption isn’t entirely their fault.


It's because:

- No American movie stars an actor that looks like me.

- No children’s book they read growing up had a kid with my name.

- No curriculum teaches about the holidays I celebrate.


So instead of responding with anger, I simply explain my family's Iranian, Afghan, and Pakistani legacy (one that I have almost zero connection with), leaving them with a bewildered look because they can't believe I'm not Indian (people often forget that brown people exist outside of India). 

And in those moments, I'm reminded that assimilation doesn't guarantee belonging. I speak without an accent, I laugh at the same jokes, I wear jeans and sneakers, but I'm still seen as foreign. I’ve learned that even when you grow up here - eat the food, pledge to the flag, speak the language - you can still feel like a guest in your own country.

No matter how hard I try to assimilate, no matter how connected or disconnected I am to my family's heritage, no matter how many Lululemon bags and Owala bottles I buy, I will never be white enough to be American.



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